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1201

I like you and have a happy birthday too.        (Anon.)

  ()
HINT: Second line should have 6, 7, 8, or 9 syllables and the last syllable should rhyme with the last syllable of line 1.

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Archive (latest 50 limericks)

1200

There was a young girl called Kelly        (Anon.)

who like to chew on some hay        (Anon.)

her nose it did twitch        (Anon.)

somewhat like a witch        (Anon.)

but she said at least I'm not gay!        (Anon.)

1199

vikings have swords and shields        (Anon.)

curious to see the works        (nick)

there was a young man from dundee        (d)

who liked to spoon        (Anon.)

And that's why we all love Becs        (Anon.)

1198

there was a young lady called        (sharon)

whose dick was the width of a pencil        (Gunther)

Shaun        (Anon.)

To celebrate one hundred years        (jasmin)

To celebrate one hundred years        (jasmin)

1197

A Big Brawny Marine Named Barrett        (Bursey)

Would Snuggle With Ferrets All Night        (Mercy)

Nikki And Sic With Love        (Grow)

Like two white and love dove        (Hulk)

Rockstar Delight all of the night plight        (Wife)

1196

i like bananas        (Anon.)

i like cows        (Anon.)

i like pie        (Anon.)

i like halls        (Anon.)

get it up        (Anon.)

1195

I see a cow        (Anon.)

sucking a plow        (lolcats)

touching ur mom        (p)

fking ur dad in the bed        (fk u)

so he decided to rape u instead        (Anon.)

1194

Crap        (Anon.)

Lap        (Anon.)

fuck my shit you dirty ass tit fuckaroo bitch nigger that fucks hannah montannas pussy        (the fuckmaster)

tits        (jj)

that was devon by the way        (devon james)

1193

There once was a boy named Harry        (Anon.)

gemma        (Anon.)

He flew to the moon        (Anon.)

But he was a goon        (Anon.)

who always got pwned        (Anon.)

1192

there once was a girl named        (amanda)

who got eaten by a panda        (Anon.)

she lived on the inside        (Anon.)

and thought why didnt i die        (Anon.)

So all she could do was just cry        (Anon.)

1191

fuck mrs. gross she smells like shit!        (devon)

so she licked her clit and pissed on her tits        (your anus)

seriously, fuck that bitch        (devon)

she is a bitchfuckwhore        (your anus)

this is not plagiarism you dirty as cunts!        (devon)

1190

There was a young man called        (Locke)

sarah        (Anon.)

He loved taco salad        (Eric)

there once was a dog        (moby)

tits        (the fuckmaster returns!)

1189

there was a young lady called steph        (Anon.)

chris was sad that she had lef'        (Anon.)

he looked at a porno        (Anon.)

hot as an inferno        (Anon.)

and seriously got out of breath        (Anon.)

1188

I only took a cursory glance        (Anon.)

At the last dance she had with Lance        (Anon.)

I stood there crying and dying        (Anon.)

With laughter seeing        (Anon.)

What a horrible romance?        (Anon.)

1187

I conciliated mom for fighting        (Anon.)

Though the cookie was quite delighting        (Anon.)

Although I was crying        (Anon.)

And was trying        (Anon.)

She wanted cookies after fighting        (Anon.)

1186

The Clandestine rhyme wasn't in line        (Anon.)

Instead it was dining with Mr. Nine        (Anon.)

Ms. rhyme was caught dating        (Anon.)

Mr. Nine would start hating        (Anon.)

They whine and whine and didn't order wine        (murray Ama)

1185

As I atrophy the shovel        (murray Ama)

It began to lose its lust        (Anon.)

Dad looked with great disgust        (Anon.)

And the shovel was thrust        (Anon.)

ughfkfn fjfghfjf fujfhfjfgjhn        (Anon.)

1184

A surgeon has the Ascendancy        (Anon.)

But had sense of dependency        (murray)

When he saw a mess        (Anon.)

He had to confess        (Anon.)

And loss his independency        (Anon.)

1183

The farmer's patch was quite arable        (Anon.)

The neighbor's patch wasn't comparable        (Anon.)

I got really sick        (Anon.)

But I had to pick        (Anon.)

Hands out, that it was repairable        (Anon.)

1182

There oncewas a girl name Sue        (Anon.)

She had antiqued shoe        (Anon.)

Wasn't glad so she got mad        (Anon.)

then realized it's not bad        (Anon.)

The next day it was stolen by a bore        (Anon.)

1181

When I think of you        (Teh Mastermind)

I just want to spew        (Teh Mastermind)

So heads up        (Teh Mastermind)

And fuck you 2        (Teh Mastermind)

You smelly Jew        (Teh Mastermind)

1180

today your my pumpkin head        (Anon.)

So go ahead and give u head        (Teh Mastermind)

Then she Fucked a big french bread        (Anon.)

When she's done she scratched her head        (Teh Mastermind)

And said        (Teh Mastermind)

1179

there once was a woman named sue        (pat)

that ate a choero and then was thrue        (don)

she thought it was chocolate        (superman)

and was born in a drawer in dumfries        (Anon.)

he maybe short he maybe hairy        (Anon.)

1142

there once was a young bird called Helen        (Anon.)

with breasts the size of ripe melons        (Anon.)

there once was a young bird called lisa        (Anon.)

There is a young girl named cecilia        (Anon.)

There once was a guy called Glynn        (Anon.)

1138

I know of a darling named Phen        (picasso)

Who was trying to pick up her pen        (Anon.)

She looked down at her paws        (Anon.)

And cried out because        (Anon.)

There were only six holding her pen        (Anon.)

1132

A poodle with a big ol' hog's pecker        (Anon.)

Was a genuine bitch pussy wrecker        (Anon.)

He mounted a mastiff        (Anon.)

And boy was her ass tough        (Anon.)

But still, a vet had to check her        (Anon.)

1130

there once was a boy named AIR        (Anon.)

who was treated very unfair        (Anon.)

people made him dirty        (Anon.)

so he stoped being flirty        (anon)

but still no one veven cared        (anon)

1127

There once was a man from Parkdale        (Rich)

With plenty of things for sale        (Rich)

One was his daughter        (Rich)

Although he'd not aught ta        (Rich)

But I'll tell ya; a fine piece of tail.        (Rich)

1118

There once was a young man with a dream.        (Matt)

he dreamed of being covered in whipped cream        (Connor)

all day and all night        (matt)

he tried and tried        (Connor)

but he never could get his dream        (Matt)

1117

The was a young girl named stacy        (Anon.)

who dressed incredibly racey        (steve)

Her skirt was so short        (Phil)

The boys would all snort        (Simba)

Then cum on her facey        (Anon.)

1116

There was once a boy named Lee        (sad)

who always dreamed of his own tree        (sai)

One day his teacher said        (der)

to draw his bed        (red)

But this fellow made a tree out of his bed        (pal)

1115

I want to be a lawyer        (Adam)

But my mom want's me to be a teacher        (pin)

I don't like it        (shin)

though it gan benefit        (bruno)

Now I have a mind to be a preacher        (erty)

1114

My young, fat cat is named Minnie        (Anon.)

We named her after the car        (Anon.)

i once knew a man called roger        (rich)

the pirate was elvis presley        (JZ)

her belly button was a innie        (sam)

1112

there ones was a beautiful cat        (Anon.)

he had a best friend rat        (Anon.)

he was always fat        (Anon.)

so he always sat        (Anon.)

and wore a hat        (Anon.)

1111

there once was a girl named Saige        (kay kay)

she ended up on the front page        (kay kay)

she was getting old        (kay kay)

and growing mold        (kay kay)

because of her age        (Anon.)

1110

There once was a girl named Elli        (kay kay)

She went to the deli        (kay kay)

there was nothing good        (kay kay)

because she was from the hood        (Anon.)

so she ended up with jelly        (kay kay)

1106

there was a young girl from cairo        (Kathy)

her name was Kathy of Pyro        (Anon.)

she loved the fire        (charlie)

which would never tire        (kit kat)

just imagine if it may ever go        (Anon.)

1104

There was bearded guy named Sean        (Gizmodo)

Who was never cleanly shorn        (Anon.)

He purchased Gillette        (Anon.)

after losing a bet        (Anon.)

and ended up growing a horn        (Anon.)

1103

A stinky young boy named Dan        (bilbo)

Spent most of his time in the can.        (bilbo)

He pushed out a turd        (bilbo)

That splashe and was heard        (bilbo)

By people all over the land.        (bilbo)

1102

A strapping young fellow named Shane        (bilbo)

Who perpetually looked in the drain,        (Anon.)

Saw a roach crawling out        (bilbo)

And he started to shout        (bilbo)

Ah! They're coming to eat out my brain!        (bilbo)

1101

A lovely young girl from Cork        (bilbo)

Fell in love with a really big dork.        (bilbo)

They got married in Spain        (bilbo)

But it started to rain,        (bilbo)

So the reception was held in New York.        (bilbo)

1100

there once was a boy named levi        (HK)

who liked to drive his chevy        (Anon.)

he drove downtown        (bilbo)

to meet with a clown        (bilbo)

but he crashed and died...it was heavy!        (bilbo)

1097

There was a young man named neill        (Matt)

who's feet smelt so bad they started to peel        (anon)

he went to the doc        (Anon.)

who sent him home with his feet on a seperate block        (anon)

but then he got eaten by a very large croc        (stef)

1094

There once was a house up on a hill        (wajeeh)

which was named children of harrisonville        (Anon.)

the two freinds went up on the hill        (wajeeh)

which was so still        (wajeeh)

that old house of harrisonville        (Anon.)

1092

There once was a girl named Chelsie        (Anon.)

There once was a lawyer named O'John        (Beasley )

His case load and cleints were Cheasey        (Sleazy)

He secretly split work to play 9 holes        (goals)

He included in his IPPE as one of his primay goals        (Joels)

1089

Once there was a girl called Leona        (Anon.)

who thought that she was the owner        (MrJb)

of a successful farm        (Robin)

with no cause for alarm        (Anon.)

until she ran out of kroner        (Anon.)

1088

once there was a very old man        (Anon.)

who hated teddies        (ahahaha this is funny)

but he loved his beddies        (jeanhar)

and now he sleeps with his donkey        (ryan sharp )

because he is awsome        (ryan sharp2 x)

1087

There once was a detective named Juan        (Anon.)

Who wanted everyone to call him John        (Anon.)

He thought the American name        (Anon.)

Would fool everyone at this game        (Anon.)

But Gringos still told him to mow their lawn        (Anon.)

1086

Acutely unwell adult        (Code red)

there was who made a dustpan        (Anon.)

COMPASSION WON AND ALL WAS DONE        (Anon.)

And in the end she passed all her courses        (Hannah)

Captian NPS        (Anon.)

1080

There was a young girl from mexio        (Anon.)

she sat in a pile of shexico        (Anon.)

all she did was cry        (Anon.)

shae couldnt stop to try        (Anon.)

asdfghjk        (Anon.)

1078

There was an old man who was rich        (bart)

One day he fell into a ditch        (bart)

He couldn't stop crying        (bart)

He slowly was dying        (bart)

The last thing they saw was him twitch        (bart)

There was a young girl called Kelly		(Anon.)
who like to chew on some hay		(Anon.)
her nose it did twitch		(Anon.)
somewhat like a witch		(Anon.)
but she said at least I'm not gay!		(Anon.)

vikings have swords and shields		(Anon.)
curious to see the works		(nick)
there was a young man from dundee		(d)
who liked to spoon		(Anon.)
And that's why we all love Becs		(Anon.)

there was a young lady called		(sharon)
whose dick was the width of a pencil		(Gunther)
Shaun		(Anon.)
To celebrate one hundred years		(jasmin)
To celebrate one hundred years		(jasmin)

A Big Brawny Marine Named Barrett		(Bursey)
Would Snuggle With Ferrets All Night		(Mercy)
Nikki And Sic With Love		(Grow)
Like two white and love dove		(Hulk)
Rockstar Delight all of the night plight		(Wife)

i like bananas		(Anon.)
i like cows		(Anon.)
i like pie		(Anon.)
i like halls		(Anon.)
get it up		(Anon.)

I see a cow		(Anon.)
sucking a plow		(lolcats)
touching ur mom		(p)
fking ur dad in the bed		(fk u)
so he decided to rape u instead		(Anon.)

Crap		(Anon.)
Lap		(Anon.)
fuck my shit you dirty ass tit fuckaroo bitch nigger that fucks hannah montannas pussy		(the fuckmaster)
tits		(jj)
that was devon by the way		(devon james)

There once was a boy named Harry		(Anon.)
gemma		(Anon.)
He flew to the moon		(Anon.)
But he was a goon		(Anon.)
who always got pwned		(Anon.)

there once was a girl named		(amanda)
who got eaten by a panda		(Anon.)
she lived on the inside		(Anon.)
and thought why didnt i die		(Anon.)
So all she could do was just cry		(Anon.)

fuck mrs. gross she smells like shit!		(devon)
so she licked her clit and pissed on her tits		(your anus)
seriously, fuck that bitch		(devon)
she is a bitchfuckwhore		(your anus)
this is not plagiarism you dirty as cunts!		(devon)

There was a young man called		(Locke)
sarah		(Anon.)
He loved taco salad		(Eric)
there once was a dog		(moby)
tits		(the fuckmaster returns!)

there was a young lady called steph		(Anon.)
chris was sad that she had lef'		(Anon.)
he looked at a porno		(Anon.)
hot as an inferno		(Anon.)
and seriously got out of breath		(Anon.)

I only took a cursory glance		(Anon.)
At the last dance she had with Lance		(Anon.)
I stood there crying and dying		(Anon.)
With laughter seeing		(Anon.)
What a horrible romance?		(Anon.)

I conciliated mom for fighting		(Anon.)
Though the cookie was quite delighting		(Anon.)
Although I was crying		(Anon.)
And was trying		(Anon.)
She wanted cookies after fighting		(Anon.)

The Clandestine rhyme wasn't in line		(Anon.)
Instead it was dining with Mr. Nine		(Anon.)
Ms. rhyme was caught dating		(Anon.)
Mr. Nine would start hating		(Anon.)
They whine and whine and didn't order wine		(murray Ama)

As I atrophy the shovel		(murray Ama)
It began to lose its lust		(Anon.)
Dad looked with great disgust		(Anon.)
And the shovel was thrust		(Anon.)
ughfkfn fjfghfjf fujfhfjfgjhn		(Anon.)

A surgeon has the Ascendancy		(Anon.)
But had sense of dependency		(murray)
When he saw a mess		(Anon.)
He had to confess		(Anon.)
And loss his independency		(Anon.)

The farmer's patch was quite arable		(Anon.)
The neighbor's patch wasn't comparable		(Anon.)
I got really sick		(Anon.)
But I had to pick		(Anon.)
Hands out, that it was repairable		(Anon.)

There oncewas a girl name Sue		(Anon.)
She had antiqued shoe		(Anon.)
Wasn't glad so she got mad		(Anon.)
then realized it's not bad		(Anon.)
The next day it was stolen by a bore		(Anon.)

When I think of you		(Teh Mastermind)
I just want to spew		(Teh Mastermind)
So heads up		(Teh Mastermind)
And fuck you 2		(Teh Mastermind)
You smelly Jew		(Teh Mastermind)

today your my pumpkin head		(Anon.)
So go ahead and give u head		(Teh Mastermind)
Then she Fucked a big french bread		(Anon.)
When she's done she scratched her head		(Teh Mastermind)
And said		(Teh Mastermind)

there once was a woman named sue		(pat)
that ate a choero and then was thrue		(don)
she thought it was chocolate		(superman)
and was born in a drawer in dumfries		(Anon.)
he maybe short he maybe hairy		(Anon.)

there once was a young bird called Helen		(Anon.)
with breasts the size of ripe melons		(Anon.)
there once was a young bird called lisa		(Anon.)
There is a young girl named cecilia		(Anon.)
There once was a guy called Glynn		(Anon.)

I know of a darling named Phen		(picasso)
Who was trying to pick up her pen		(Anon.)
She looked down at her paws		(Anon.)
And cried out because		(Anon.)
There were only six holding her pen		(Anon.)

A poodle with a big ol' hog's pecker		(Anon.)
Was a genuine bitch pussy wrecker		(Anon.)
He mounted a mastiff		(Anon.)
And boy was her ass tough		(Anon.)
But still, a vet had to check her		(Anon.)

there once was a boy named AIR		(Anon.)
who was treated very unfair		(Anon.)
people made him dirty		(Anon.)
so he stoped being flirty		(anon)
but still no one veven cared		(anon)

There once was a man from Parkdale		(Rich)
With plenty of things for sale		(Rich)
One was his daughter		(Rich)
Although he'd not aught ta		(Rich)
But I'll tell ya; a fine piece of tail.		(Rich)

There once was a young man with a dream.		(Matt)
he dreamed of being covered in whipped cream		(Connor)
all day and all night		(matt)
he tried and tried		(Connor)
but he never could get his dream		(Matt)

The was a young girl named stacy		(Anon.)
who dressed incredibly racey		(steve)
Her skirt was so short		(Phil)
The boys would all snort		(Simba)
Then cum on her facey		(Anon.)

There was once a boy named Lee		(sad)
who always dreamed of his own tree		(sai)
One day his teacher said		(der)
to draw his bed		(red)
But this fellow made a tree out of his bed		(pal)